i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
