i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
