When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
