he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
