I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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