Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
