Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
