This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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