I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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