My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
