Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
farters have to be the big spoon...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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