So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Couch. On fire.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
