I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
NoShamevember. You game?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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