the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
