Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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