The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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