honey bunches of taint.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
