Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize