you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
