At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
