My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
