Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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