I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
