I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
