Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
