People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
