I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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