ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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