While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
