drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
