I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
