just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
