youre lurking in front of me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
