You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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