I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
