okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you win again, gameday.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
