ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
