he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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