My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
