Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
