who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
