She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dignity is for republicans.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
