feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
