but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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