Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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