If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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