burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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