she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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