whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
