is wine microwaveable?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
